funny

This board is moving to a new board running different, more capable software. Please go here:


http://www.polanimal.com.au/xenforo

You will need to be issued a temporary password on the new board. Please PM HBS Guy, Aussie or mothra for one.

The new board is well worth the little bit of pain involved.


This board will remain open for users who have not posted recently to find the new board

Moderator: DonDeeHippy

Forum rules
The rules for this board are in the Charter of Moderation. Sand Pit is for having fun. Guest posting is allowed here.
Post Reply
User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

She got upset in two languages :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin

User avatar
Aussie
Minister for Foreign Affairs
Posts: 9764
Joined: 13 Mar 2010, 18:25

Re: funny

Post by Aussie »

johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Hahahahahahahaaaa. What was she saying Mr Smith?

She's calling him a bastard and a son of a bitch (whore). :yahoo :yahoo :yahoo
Funny...she is (apparently) calling her own son a bastard and son of a bitch!

User avatar
Aussie
Minister for Foreign Affairs
Posts: 9764
Joined: 13 Mar 2010, 18:25

Re: funny

Post by Aussie »

Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

Aussie wrote:
johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Hahahahahahahaaaa. What was she saying Mr Smith?

She's calling him a bastard and a son of a bitch (whore). :yahoo :yahoo :yahoo
Funny...she is (apparently) calling her own son a bastard and son of a bitch!
In my experience it's common with Italian women. I had already lost count of the number of times my mum called me those exact same things by the time I was 5.
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin
I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
mothra
Duck
Posts: 6669
Joined: 27 Sep 2017, 17:47
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by mothra »

johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin
I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.


Tell her the whale joke. It's how i used to work out if guys were worth my attention.

You ask the person "what noise does a cow make" ... they say 'moo' .. you tell them to put their back into and do a proper cow imperswonation. RRepeat with every animal you can think of.

The ask what sound a whale makes. Casually take a mouthful of handy beverage and don't swallow. When they try to do a whale impersonation (always amusing), shake your head no and spurt said beverage into their face.

Best performed in summer.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

Ahahaha!

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

mothra wrote:
johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin
I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.


Tell her the whale joke. It's how i used to work out if guys were worth my attention.

You ask the person "what noise does a cow make" ... they say 'moo' .. you tell them to put their back into and do a proper cow imperswonation. RRepeat with every animal you can think of.

The ask what sound a whale makes. Casually take a mouthful of handy beverage and don't swallow. When they try to do a whale impersonation (always amusing), shake your head no and spurt said beverage into their face.

Best performed in summer.
:clap :jump

will definitely try that one day
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

Image

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

We talked of magpies swooping up thread a bit.

Not so funny: a magpie swoop on a 79yo cyclist resulted in his death:

https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/state/n ... cle-crash/

WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?

User avatar
DonDeeHippy
Warthog
Posts: 3339
Joined: 25 Apr 2018, 20:18
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by DonDeeHippy »

HBS Guy wrote:We talked of magpies swooping up thread a bit.

Not so funny: a magpie swoop on a 79yo cyclist resulted in his death:

https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/state/n ... cle-crash/

WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?
Probably a bearing seized on his skateboard :purple
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
Shellandshilo1956 ….. Even an annoying troll, has the right to free speech.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

ahahahahaha!

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

HBS Guy wrote:WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?
why not? It's a great form of exercise, and Wollongong has some of the best cycle tracks in the country. I wish the gold coast would take some notes. Totally separate from the roads, up and down along the coast with great views over the ocean. I've cycled it plenty of times.
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

HBS Guy wrote:You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.
so ride slower
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

That is how he got swooped! :c :c :c

User avatar
DonDeeHippy
Warthog
Posts: 3339
Joined: 25 Apr 2018, 20:18
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by DonDeeHippy »

HBS Guy wrote:You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.
yes no one over 70 should go outside because of brittle bones and slow reflexes, why cant these people just stay inside where they belong... :purple
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
Shellandshilo1956 ….. Even an annoying troll, has the right to free speech.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

Cycling? Alright maybe 50 years ago but traffic these days?

User avatar
DonDeeHippy
Warthog
Posts: 3339
Joined: 25 Apr 2018, 20:18
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by DonDeeHippy »

HBS Guy wrote:Cycling? Alright maybe 50 years ago but traffic these days?
he was hit by a bird not a car...…. :purple
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
Shellandshilo1956 ….. Even an annoying troll, has the right to free speech.

User avatar
DonDeeHippy
Warthog
Posts: 3339
Joined: 25 Apr 2018, 20:18
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by DonDeeHippy »

https://www.greencarreports.com/news/11 ... ter-record

Legendary drag-racer Don Garlits, who was setting racing records before the moon landing, set two new speed records in an electric dragster in the quarter mile, one for a time of 7.235 seconds, and the other for a trap speed of 189.04 mph at the end of the quarter mile, Hot Rod Magazine reports.

In addition to his eight national drag racing championships in the sport's fastest Top Fuel class, the 87-year-old Garlits—known as "Big Daddy" in the sport—also held the previous record for a quarter mile pass in an electric dragster set in 2014 at 184 mph.


He had been the first driver to hit 200 mph (in 1964) on the quarter-mile drag strips and the first to reach 240 mph (in 1968)

I remember watching him when dad used to take me to the drags in the States, I'm amazed he is still alive after some of the crashes he has had, little on breaking world records....
Age is no limit :purple
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
Shellandshilo1956 ….. Even an annoying troll, has the right to free speech.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

It was for one cyclist!

User avatar
johnsmith
Lion
Posts: 10970
Joined: 25 Sep 2017, 21:39
spamone: Animal

Re: funny

Post by johnsmith »

HBS Guy wrote:That is how he got swooped! :c :c :c
I don't understand why people panic when magpies swoop. He had a bike helmet on .. let it swoop.
FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.

User avatar
SethBullock
Warthog
Posts: 3178
Joined: 22 Oct 2018, 13:37
spamone: Animal
Location: Oregon, USA

Re: funny

Post by SethBullock »

Here's one for Aussie ...

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido , has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says fuck you, you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers?
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” - Stephen Grellet

User avatar
Aussie
Minister for Foreign Affairs
Posts: 9764
Joined: 13 Mar 2010, 18:25

Re: funny

Post by Aussie »

Hehe.

User avatar
HBS Guy
Tractors to Australia
Posts: 56429
Joined: 27 Oct 2009, 15:37

Re: funny

Post by HBS Guy »

Ahahahahaha! Good one!

Post Reply