Hilarious!

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Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 29 Sep 2018, 02:15

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 30 Sep 2018, 12:56

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby Dax » 01 Oct 2018, 18:51

Sure is warped.
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby Aussie » 04 Oct 2018, 17:56

Ray the Chicken
Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.'

Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ray was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ray the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ray.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ray, wake up! You shit the bed!"
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 04 Oct 2018, 18:12

There is a Col Elliot joke, drunk bloke needs to have a shit, finds the toilet and is overcome, a golden toilet. Next morning, on his way to work he spots a house that looks familiar, so he knocks on the door and when a woman answers it he asks “Excuse me, love, but do you have a golden toilet here?” The woman turns around and screeches “Harry, here’s the guy that shit in your tuba!”
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 06 Oct 2018, 08:35

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 06 Oct 2018, 20:57

Classic word sketch by Hoffnung:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0aWd7tL8y4
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 07 Oct 2018, 21:08

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 07 Oct 2018, 21:35

If horse racing. . .

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby johnsmith » 07 Oct 2018, 21:52

did a tour of the inside of the opera house last week. Interesting place. I didn't know it had originally been designed to remain open to the elements.

the walls and windows etc were added after.
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I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby johnsmith » 07 Oct 2018, 22:00

FD.
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby Aussie » 13 Oct 2018, 19:08

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 13 Oct 2018, 20:03

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 15 Oct 2018, 07:00

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Re: Hilarious!

Postby johnsmith » 15 Oct 2018, 08:15



whats an old bastard like you is looking at pregnancy websites for? ...you dirty old man :c
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 15 Oct 2018, 08:20

It is Twitter not a pregnancy site!
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby johnsmith » 15 Oct 2018, 08:23

HBS Guy wrote:It is Twitter not a pregnancy site!



ok, then let me rephrase !



'whats an old bastard like you is following a pregnancyvideo twitter feed for? ...you dirty old man' :c





better? :giggle
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby HBS Guy » 15 Oct 2018, 09:36

Didya actually watch the fucking video? I thought it was cute.
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Re: Hilarious!

Postby johnsmith » 15 Oct 2018, 09:42

HBS Guy wrote:Didya actually watch the fucking video? I thought it was cute.


it was ...it had me laughing
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