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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 09 Sep 2019, 16:29

She got upset in two languages :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 09 Sep 2019, 16:48

johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Hahahahahahahaaaa. What was she saying Mr Smith?



She's calling him a bastard and a son of a bitch (whore). :yahoo :yahoo :yahoo


Funny...she is (apparently) calling her own son a bastard and son of a bitch!
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 09 Sep 2019, 16:50

Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 09 Sep 2019, 21:21

Aussie wrote:
johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Hahahahahahahaaaa. What was she saying Mr Smith?



She's calling him a bastard and a son of a bitch (whore). :yahoo :yahoo :yahoo


Funny...she is (apparently) calling her own son a bastard and son of a bitch!


In my experience it's common with Italian women. I had already lost count of the number of times my mum called me those exact same things by the time I was 5.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 09 Sep 2019, 21:25

Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin


I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 10 Sep 2019, 00:36

johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin


I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.




Tell her the whale joke. It's how i used to work out if guys were worth my attention.

You ask the person "what noise does a cow make" ... they say 'moo' .. you tell them to put their back into and do a proper cow imperswonation. RRepeat with every animal you can think of.

The ask what sound a whale makes. Casually take a mouthful of handy beverage and don't swallow. When they try to do a whale impersonation (always amusing), shake your head no and spurt said beverage into their face.

Best performed in summer.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 10 Sep 2019, 00:39

Ahahaha!
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 10 Sep 2019, 18:19

mothra wrote:
johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:Mr Smith.......I want you to try that with Mrs Smith, and get one of your Sons to film it! That would be priceless!!!!

:bgrin


I would but I don't think it'll work if I do it. She's seen that video. It's an old one from facebook.

However, it might work if I asked my 10 yr old to do it. She thinks he's still innocent and will be more willing to play along with his 'magic trick'.




Tell her the whale joke. It's how i used to work out if guys were worth my attention.

You ask the person "what noise does a cow make" ... they say 'moo' .. you tell them to put their back into and do a proper cow imperswonation. RRepeat with every animal you can think of.

The ask what sound a whale makes. Casually take a mouthful of handy beverage and don't swallow. When they try to do a whale impersonation (always amusing), shake your head no and spurt said beverage into their face.

Best performed in summer.


:clap :jump

will definitely try that one day
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 10 Sep 2019, 19:52

Image
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 16 Sep 2019, 17:22

We talked of magpies swooping up thread a bit.

Not so funny: a magpie swoop on a 79yo cyclist resulted in his death:

https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/state/nsw/2019/09/16/magpie-fatal-cycle-crash/

WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?
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Re: funny

Postby DonDeeHippy » 17 Sep 2019, 04:49

HBS Guy wrote:We talked of magpies swooping up thread a bit.

Not so funny: a magpie swoop on a 79yo cyclist resulted in his death:

https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/state/nsw/2019/09/16/magpie-fatal-cycle-crash/

WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?

Probably a bearing seized on his skateboard :purple
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 17 Sep 2019, 11:02

ahahahahaha!
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 17 Sep 2019, 19:59

HBS Guy wrote:WTF was a 79yo doing on a pushbike anyway?


why not? It's a great form of exercise, and Wollongong has some of the best cycle tracks in the country. I wish the gold coast would take some notes. Totally separate from the roads, up and down along the coast with great views over the ocean. I've cycled it plenty of times.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 17 Sep 2019, 20:16

You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 18 Sep 2019, 16:37

HBS Guy wrote:You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.


so ride slower
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 18 Sep 2019, 22:40

That is how he got swooped! :c :c :c
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Re: funny

Postby DonDeeHippy » 19 Sep 2019, 04:44

HBS Guy wrote:You ain’t 79—slow reflexes, brittle bones etc.

yes no one over 70 should go outside because of brittle bones and slow reflexes, why cant these people just stay inside where they belong... :purple
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 19 Sep 2019, 05:02

Cycling? Alright maybe 50 years ago but traffic these days?
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Re: funny

Postby DonDeeHippy » 19 Sep 2019, 07:32

HBS Guy wrote:Cycling? Alright maybe 50 years ago but traffic these days?

he was hit by a bird not a car...…. :purple
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
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Re: funny

Postby DonDeeHippy » 19 Sep 2019, 07:37

https://www.greencarreports.com/news/11 ... ter-record

Legendary drag-racer Don Garlits, who was setting racing records before the moon landing, set two new speed records in an electric dragster in the quarter mile, one for a time of 7.235 seconds, and the other for a trap speed of 189.04 mph at the end of the quarter mile, Hot Rod Magazine reports.

In addition to his eight national drag racing championships in the sport's fastest Top Fuel class, the 87-year-old Garlits—known as "Big Daddy" in the sport—also held the previous record for a quarter mile pass in an electric dragster set in 2014 at 184 mph.


He had been the first driver to hit 200 mph (in 1964) on the quarter-mile drag strips and the first to reach 240 mph (in 1968)

I remember watching him when dad used to take me to the drags in the States, I'm amazed he is still alive after some of the crashes he has had, little on breaking world records....
Age is no limit :purple
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 19 Sep 2019, 11:42

It was for one cyclist!
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 19 Sep 2019, 18:14

HBS Guy wrote:That is how he got swooped! :c :c :c


I don't understand why people panic when magpies swoop. He had a bike helmet on .. let it swoop.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 20 Sep 2019, 14:18

Here's one for Aussie ...

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido , has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says fuck you, you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers?
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 20 Sep 2019, 14:27

Hehe.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 20 Sep 2019, 15:54

Ahahahahaha! Good one!
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